i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
Randomize
