recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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