fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
Randomize