Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
Randomize
