Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
Randomize
