Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
Randomize
