CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
Randomize
