Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Randomize
