at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
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