God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
I think I am morally bankrupt
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
