The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
Randomize
