"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
