do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
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