Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
How does it feel to date your dad?
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Randomize
