Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
Randomize
