I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Randomize
