I think scott just propositioned me for sex
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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