Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
