i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
Randomize
