I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
Randomize
