tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
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