I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize
