Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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