have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Randomize
