the day after is always just damage control
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize
