i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Randomize
