I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Randomize
