I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
Randomize
