maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
Randomize
