I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
Randomize
