Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
Damn victory sex feels great
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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