well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
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