I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
