I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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