weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
