YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
