If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
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