Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
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