I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
