so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
Randomize
