I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
I need moral support for this bender
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
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