they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Randomize
