Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
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