Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
