No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
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