I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Randomize