She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
