"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Randomize
