under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
So squirting runs in the family.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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