I can't disclose who, but one time I called someone, they didn't pick up, and immediately texted back 'will call later, masturbating'
I thought that was really considerate
my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
I skipped work to stalk him.
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Randomize
