wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
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