i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
Randomize
