jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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