He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
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