oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
Randomize
