I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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