i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
Randomize
