I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
Randomize