youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
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