It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize
