Nicole vs. Life
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
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