So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Randomize
