I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize
