i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
Randomize