new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
Randomize
